Topic: Can a married woman continue to use her maiden name?

Date originally posted: July 27, 2004

Source of this posting: Moderator response to emailed question

Moderator who originally posted this source: Fr. Phillip

Question: I have a question with regards to the Church's position on retaining one's maiden name after marriage in the Catholic Church. I continue to use my maiden name after nearly 11 years of marriage, but was given a a difficult time by a Deacon when asking that mail sent specifically to my attention be addressed with my name. I am a lector and receive my schedule via US post and I have our church envelopes sent to Mr. and Mrs. My Husband's Last Name but sign the checks inside with my legal/maiden name. My Deacon was adamant in advising that the Church frowns upon this practice, but I'd never heard such a thing before and know several other Faithful Catholic women who are likewise situated. Is there official teaching on this subject?

Answer: 

The Church, of course, advises, supports and encourages married couples to be "one" in their approach to the Lord and in their lives "together."

Having said that, there is no teaching whatsoever of which I am aware that says a woman cannot or should not continue to use her maiden name after Sacramental marriage.

That question is one which must be prayerfully discerned under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in a respectful dialogue between wife and husband.

A standard question in our parish marriage preparation process is whether the couple has talked about what the last names of the couple and/or any children with which God chooses to bless that couple may be.

My suspicion is that it probably has a lot to do with the way computer programs are set up and how much "trouble" it may be to have individual preferences respected within the context of that parish's staff and computer literacy.

Maybe you should offer to pay the full cost of making sure that the parish has a computer program that will be able to accommodate your concerns. Many times it's just a matter of not quite knowing how to 'change' things from the usual format...but in many other cases it's a matter of not having the resources to make the changes -- regardless of how desirable they may be.

Finally, respect the Deacon's point-of-view. It may not be yours, but he has a right to think what he pleases.

I'm pretty sure, though, that it's just his opinion rather than an official teaching of the Church universal...though it is conceivable that your local Diocese does have some policy on this matter of which I am unaware.

Thanks for being willing to continue enriching our Church with your faithful presence!

Blessings,
Father Phillip