Topic:  What should I do if I've had sex and I'm getting married?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: February 9, 2003

Moderator who originally posted this source: Father Phillip

Question:   If I have had sex with my girlfriend already, and we plan to get married in the churh in the near future, what steps would need to be taken in light of such actions?thank youJames

Answer: 

Dear James,

Thanks for your question on our web site. How wonderful that you and your girlfriend/fiance are planning to be married in the Church in the near future! Make sure that you and she make an appointment immediately with your local campus minister/priest -- if you haven't already done so -- to begin the process of marriage preparation. Many blessings to you in your relationship!

Certainly, the Church would say that your decision to have intercourse before being married is not right. The "steps" that "need to be taken in light of" your actions are, in this case, the same as what needs to be done in light of any and all sinful actions: You should go to Confession.

Celebrating the Sacrament of Reconciliation is God's great way of reminding us how deeply and profoundly God loves us. This Sacrament of Penance is also God's way of giving us the grace we need to avoid the near occasion of sin and to resolve to sin no more. Confession is a real help to live our lives in ways that please God and that bring us deeper and fuller whole-ness and holy-ness.

So, go to Confession and experience the love which only our good God can give!

Blessings to you both!
Father Phillip

Blessings,
Father Phillip