Topic:  What does the Catholic Church teach about acts of married love?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: July 27, 2004

Moderator who originally posted this source: Father Phillip

Question:  Hi, I am brand new and very excited to find this website since I know sooo little about my religion. I am 27 years old and always known premarital sex was wrong but I never followed it. Recently, I decided to go back to church and so far I've found going church gives me a great feeling. For some reason, I still cant stop having premarital sex since I am w/ my bf for close to 7 years. I know God will one day give me faith to stop. My question for you is regarding a comment i read in another catholic website where it states just picture jesus in the room w/ you when you are having sex and i my question is does this same notion applies when you are married??? In other words, once i am marry...am I free to do what i want w/ my husband or are there limits since I am catholic?? Thank you so much for reading, I truly appreciate it!

Answer: 

Thanks for your questions.

Let's begin by saying that sexuality is one of God's greatest gifts to humanity. As Catholics we do not believe that there is anything dirty or wrong about being sexual. We believe, in fact, that when a wife and husband make love in a way that is open to life in all its possibilities, Christ is truly, really present precisely in their love-making. Love-making between married spouses is holy and sacred.

So, imagining that Jesus is present in the room is something we can always do -- whether we're having sex or having supper. Jesus IS always present and is always loving us. The Lord's Presence inspires us to be more loving, more just, more compassionate, and more chaste.

The Catholic Church teaches that acts of married love should always have two 'ends' in sight: unitive and procreative. What does that mean?

Acts of married love should be unitive: that is to say, such consensual and respectful sexual acts between a wife and a husband should advance and be expressions of the intimacy and love of the couple.

Acts of married love should be procreative: that is to say, such consensual and respectful sexual acts between a wife and a husband should be open to the possibility -- if God wills it -- to the conception of a child.

Acts of married love with are unitive and potentially procreative are sacred according to Catholic teaching.