Topic: Catholic approach to Prayer

Source of this posting: Question answered via email from CatholicQandA.org posting

Date originally posted: February 27, 2002

Moderator who originally posted this source: P.Leach

Question:  I am currently in a relationship with a practicing Catholic. I am protestant (Baptist) and am trying to educate myself on his beliefs.  We have talked about these things, however, I like finding information on my own as well.  I have read over all the information on this site, however, I still have a few questions.  How do Catholics approach prayer? Do they pray to Mary or Jesus, and why?

Answer:  

Thanks loads for your question(s)!  The first thing I would say is that it's GREAT that you and your boyfriend are talking about religious issues.  Far too often couples try to put these kinds of questions aside, hoping, naively, that they'll "just work themselves out."  But, folks need to do exactly what you're doing: collect information, ask questions, delve into issues -- and, of course, pray, pray, pray!

 Your question about how we Catholics approach prayer probably has as many answers as there are Catholics in the world:  Each Catholic has her or his own-unique-given-by-God personality, gifts, limits, talents, and abilities which make prayer intensely personal for that individual person. So, making any generalization is fraught with danger because the generalization won't apply in every situation to every person.

 Nevertheless, some basic 'approaches' to prayer from a Catholic perspective are possible. 

A.  Prayer is like breathing for us: We have to breath to live, and to live the abundant life (which Jesus Christ offers to and wants for us) we have to pray.   

Most of the time breathing is something we just do without thinking about it, without laboring over it.  In a similar way, I think many Catholics just pray in a simple, thankful, unlabored way.  In those situations we often rely on "set prayers" which we've been taught in family and/or Church settings, like the Lord's Prayer or Table Grace.  When we use those kinds of prayers, they are filled with meaning because they connect us to the memories of where we learned the prayers, who taught them to us, and of course, they put us in contact with the great and loving God to Whom they are directed. 

At other times, like after a long run, breathing is something we have to concentrate on a good bit more.  Again, similarly, prayer sometimes is an effort for us Catholics.  Prayer in that context is where we have to work at it.  Prayer sometimes requires discipline, concentration and focus.  Setting aside a daily time of prayer or going on a weekend Retreat might be thought of in this 'category' of prayer.

 B.  Prayer, for Catholics, is communal and liturgical.  We Catholics believe very strongly that Jesus calls us personally into relationship with Him, but we just as strongly believe that when the Lord calls us into relationship with Him, He also calls us into a community of persons who have heard and responded to His call.  That community of persons who have a personal relationship with Jesus is the Church.

 So, for us Catholics, prayer almost always involves a communal dimension.  We have to have personal moments and times of prayer, but that personal prayer almost always leads us into a community of prayer. 

 Catholicism really emphasizes the fact that God has created human beings with a deeply rooted need for other human beings.  We desperately need God, of course!  But we also need other people.   

This need for other people makes marriage vitally important for the fulfillment of those who are called to it; this need for community is what underlies the call to some women and men to live in Religious groups, like the Jesuits, Dominicans, or Franciscans. 

 And this need to be with other human beings is what makes Catholics need to pray with other folks.  I am continually amazed and gratified that Catholics keep coming back to Church -- what we call Mass or Liturgy -- week-in-and-week-out.  Catholic people need to be together so that we can pray together.  That is because, I think, of this God-given need, planted deeply within each human being, to allow "my" spirit to be in communion with other human spirits as we reach out to the divine Spirit of God.

 The Church helps us pray together by giving us some set times and ways of praying together so that we can fulfill that basic need to be with other human persons.  These rituals for praying together are some of what we call "Liturgy."  By entering into these rituals of the Liturgy, the human soul is nourished and fed, challenged and asked to grow. 

 C.  Finally, prayer for Catholics is being with God.  The deepest need in every human heart is the need to be with God.  God is all that will ever make any human person happy, whole, content, or fulfilled.  And prayer is the primary way we have of being with God, of having that most fundamental human need met. 

While we spend a lot of time and energy collecting "things" -- like cars, clothes, degrees, relationships, CDs, money, power, prestige -- these things, while not evil in themselves (since they were created by the good God), do not ever bring us fulfillment.  All of us have had the experience of thinking, "I'll be happy if I can just get this thing or that" and then when we get it, we're dis-satisfied almost immediately.  That's because none of these "things" ever meet that most essential need for God. 

Prayer is the time, means, method, way, place where we allow God to love us.  Prayer is when we open ourselves in vulnerability and hospitality to the Holy Spirit of God.  Prayer is when we make ourselves 'available' to God.  Prayer is when God ravishes us with Divine Love, assuring us that we are beautiful, desire-able, appealing to God.  Prayer is when the Word of God challenges us to grow beyond our safe little comfort zones so that we can see possibilities that we never dreamed of.  Prayer is when we allow the deepest fears and voids within us to be bathed in the Light of God which heals and makes us whole.  Prayer is hanging out with God. 

While I certainly don't want to suggest that Catholics have a monopoly on prayer -- there are lots and lots of really prayerful people in other traditions, to be sure! -- my comments might be a good beginning point for you and your boyfriend to think about how we Catholics approach prayer. 

You also asked about the roles of Jesus and Mary in the prayerlife of Catholics.  I'll try to answer that question in a separate email; ok?  This answer is already a bit long! :-) 

Please say a prayer for me...and be assured that you and your boyfriend will be in my prayers!

Blessings,
Father Phillip