Topic: Mary and Joseph's Marriage

Source of this posting: Moderator response to emailed question

Date originally posted: February 2, 2002

Moderator who originally posted this source: C. Rusin

Dates emended:  March 5, 2002

Moderators who did the emending:  Fr. Ron Krisman

Question:  I was following the Catholic Q and A session last Tuesday and noticed a conversation about Mary and Joseph.  My question is this:  If we, as Catholics, believe that Mary remained a virgin her entire life, the obvious conclusion is that she and Joseph never consummated their marriage with intercourse; therefore were they really married at all?  If they were not married, then was the holy mother of Jesus living in sin for her entire adult life?  I was really confused by this.  Can you clarify it for me please?

Answer:

You’re right, Jennifer – it IS a confusing topic!  And really more involved than can easily be addressed in a chat session or with a quick e-mail, so let me touch on a few things here and invite you to check out our “virtual library” later this week where I’ll add a more detailed entry about it. 

“Living in sin” is a modern phrase we’d use in terms of a man and woman sharing a house and engaging in intercourse without being married to each other.  A married couple living together and choosing not to have intercourse is not so much in the realm of ‘sin’ as a consideration of the health of their marriage.  Remember though, we can love someone intimately without making love with them.

 Let’s not forget that Mary and Joseph were not Catholics; they were good Jews. As such the particularly Catholic sacramental laws wouldn’t be binding on them. And certainly no one has found Mary’s diary (“Dear Diary, today my son turned water into wine, and I am still a virgin.”) –fairly difficult to have historical data on that! But still, you might ask – where’s the proof that Mary was ever-virgin … and why is it important? 

While the New Testament does speak of the virginal conception of Jesus (Matthew 1:18-25 and Luke 1:26-28), it says nothing of Mary’s virginity during or after Jesus’ birth. Evidence of discussion about these topics first begins to appear in the 2nd century, with Mary’s perpetual virginity being widely accepted by the third century.

 So there must have been some theological or symbolic value to proclaiming this statement about Joseph and Mary’s married life. Nearly always when we talk about something in Mary’s life, it’s really a reflection of what God was doing in that circumstance.  So... stay tuned, and check back in a few days!!!    -Cathy Rusin

Additional Information

Father Ron Krisman, Orlando Tribunal

Posted on March 5, 2002

I am a Catholic priest and a canon lawyer. I saw the info about 'Jacko's' question about the non-consummation of marriage on yesterday's News Briefs from Catholic News Service. I thought you'd appreciate getting this information. 'Jacko's' major premise is/was incorrect. The Catholic Church does NOT say that a marriage is invalid if it is not consummated. (True) consent  makes a (valid) marriage, not consummation. Consummation strengthens the bond of a valid marriage. (Mary and Joseph had a valid marriage.)  When failed non-consummated marriages are adjudicated by the Vatican's Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments [these cases are NOT handled in diocesan Tribunals], the intended result is NOT to declare invalid (or, in popular but quite deficient terminology, 'annul') such marriages. Rather the final outcome, once non-consummation has been proven, is to have these VALID marriages DISSOLVED through an exercise of Petrine power. The Holy Father's dissolving a valid (but non-consummated) marriage is QUITE DIFFERENT from a diocesan tribunal declaring a marriage invalid from the beginning.