Topic:  What is the purpose of sex?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: December 22, 2003

Moderator who originally posted this source: Fr. Phillip

Question:  I kind of have a two part question. I was having a conversation with a good friend of mind, who is a devout Christian, but is not Catholic, yet has a genuine interest in what the Catholic Church believes and why. He raised some questions that I wasn't sure how to respond to. First, of all, we both agreed that abortion was wrong, because it is taking of a life, but we began to disagree when it came to the topic of birth control (though he disagrees with the morning after pill, and similar methods, because it is the destruction of life already begun). He was wondering: 1. Is the sole purpose of sex procreation? If so, would it be wrong to have sex (as a married couple of course) for the sole purpose of pleasure or as an expression of love? In other words, would it be wrong, for example, for a couple to have sex when it is medically impossible for child birth (ie. the woman had a complete hysterectomy), because they would not be having sex with procreation in mind? 2. If pleasure and expression of love is added as a qualifier for another suitable motive for having sex (like for the couple with the women who had the hysterectomy), how is birth control (condom or pills) considered wrong when the couple could use pleasure or an expression of love as a motive for having sex rather than using procreation as a motive. Thanks, and God Bless.

Answer: 

Thanks for writing to CatholicQandA and thanks, even more, for your obvious faithfulness!

A couple of comments before I try to respond to your two specific questions. First, as you rightly state, abortion is wrong because it is taking a life. You and your friend are absolutely correct about that. The Catholic Church has never wavered in its opposition to abortion.

Be careful, though, not to confuse artificial birth control with abortion. The Church has been very consistent in its rejection of artificial birth control methods. While the so-called “Plan B” or morning after pill is very likely an “abortofacient” (that is, a means which can result in the abortion of an already fertilized egg-and-sperm) and therefore wrong, artificial birth control methods, such as condoms, IUDs and so-called “birth control pills” are not abortofacients and consequently should not be placed into the same category with abortion and abortofacients. The distinction among abortion, abortofacients, and artificial birth control is important and should be maintained.

So, now to your questions…

1. The Church very clearly teaches that sex in the context of marriage has two purposes: the procreative and the unitive. Both are important, both are sacred, and both are legitimate. The procreative is, obviously, one vital ‘end’ of sex in marriage; according to the Catholic Church’s understanding of the procreative dimension of married sex, each act of married love must be open to God’s gift of children.

The unitive end of married love is for the mutual enrichment of the couple. In this way, the Church recognizes that God has given humankind the gift of sexuality as a means by which a married couple can express in the most intimate, physical, and caring way the fact of their love for each other.

So, the answer to your question is, “No, the sole purpose of sex is not procreation.” While sex in marriage should, according to the Church’s view, be open to conception, procreation is but one of the two ‘ends’ of married love as it is expressed sexually.

The Church also recognizes that God calls some men and women to be married even though they are not able to conceive a child. In such a case the Church has no prohibition against such a couple expressing their love for each other sexually in obedience to the unitive end of married love.

2. The primary motive for having sex is not really either enjoyment or procreation according to the mind of the Church. While both enjoyment and procreation can be ‘results,’ as it were, of married sex, the real “motive” (to use your word) for sex is to give physical, incarnate expression to the gift of love which God has vouchsafed to the married couple.

An analogy that comes, in part from the patron Saint of the city of Rome, Saint Philip Neri, might be helpful. He compared the marital act of intercourse to the consecration of the Eucharist on the Altar – in both God is made physically as well as spiritually present. The motive, as it were, for consecrating the Holy Eucharist is obedience to Christ’s command to “Do this in memory of me” and as a way of God’s people to express our thanksgiving (the word “Eucharist” means “to give thanks”) for God’s unbelievable and unspeakable love for us. To be sure, the ‘side effects’ of the consecration of the Eucharist are many – among them, for instance, are the creation of God’s people as a worshipping Assembly, enrichment of the lives of those privileged to receive the Real Presence, the wiping away of (venial) sin, the renewal of lives in Christ, and so on and so on. But we do not celebrate the Eucharist “so that” these things will happen. Our faith, happily, tells us that they do happen when Eucharist is celebrated, but those magnificent and life-transforming ‘side benefits’ are not really the motive for our celebrating the Eucharist. We celebrate Eucharist because Jesus told us to and because it’s the very best way we have to say “Thank YOU!” to God.

Similarly, a married couple does not really have sex because they will enjoy it or because God may allow them to conceive a child in the act of intercourse. These two ‘side effects’ are, of course, wonderful. But the primary motive for sex in marriage is to express in a way that God has ordained the fact of the love which the couple shares as a result of God’s calling them to marriage. Lots of wonderful things can come from the obedience of a married couple to God’s command to be fruitful and multiply. But the main reason that a married couple should have sex is to make present in their lives the reality of God Who called them to love each other and Who sustains them each day of their lives.

Hope this helps…and by the way, we’re always glad to hear from folks at the University of Houston!