Topic:  Would my marriage to a Muslim be considered sacred?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: October 14, 2003

Moderator who originally posted this source: Father Phillip

Question:   I am Catholic and my boyfriend is Muslim(semi-practicing muslim). We have been daiting for over 4yrs now and the subject of marriage has come up.If we were to marry, I wanted to know if the Catholic Church would consider my marriage sacred? Also, if we could get married in the church with out having him convert.Thank you,Ana

Answer: 

Thanks for your question to www.CatholicQandA.org! And may God, the merciful and compassionate, bless both you and your boyfriend!

The Catholic Church always wants to support marriage as the appropriate response of a woman and a man who have been called by God to life-long fidelity, mutual support, and love. So, I think the Catholic Church would very much want to consider your marriage sacred in that context.

In order for the Catholic Church to be fully supportive of a marriage, we ask that the Catholic party/parties involve the Church in the process of preparing for marriage at an early stage in the process. As soon as a couple has come, though prayer and discernment, to the conviction that Almighty God is calling them to marriage, the Catholic party or parties need to contact their local parish to find out what are the requirements of having the Church assist the couple in preparing for marriage. The requirements for marriage preparation will vary from parish to parish, depending on the resources and needs of the people in a particular parish. So, contact your Campus Minister or pastor to find out what is required in the parish where you worship and are registered.

Generally, the Catholic Church does not require a person to convert to Catholicism in order to have the support and blessing of the Church at the time of a marriage.

In fact, I always say to non-Catholics who are marrying Catholics, "We are proud to be Catholic and grateful for the privilege of having received this faith from God, but we respect you and your conscience as you are. If, at some point in the future, you feel called by God to investigate becoming part of our Church, you'll be received with open arms and hearts by us. But getting married is a huge commitment, so focus on that right now, and do a superb job getting ready for this lifelong commitment. After you're married, there'll be plenty of time -- God willing -- to figure out what God is calling you to do with regard to the possibility of following the Lord's call into our community of faith."

While the decision is really up to the local pastor, I almost always suggest to a couple in which one of the parties is not Catholic, that if they are being married in our parish, they NOT have a Nuptial Mass but, rather, that we have a Solemn Celebration of Marriage. I believe that having a Mass in such a situation unnecessarily focuses on aspects of their relationship that the couple does not share -- namely, our inability to invite the non-Catholic and her/his non-Catholic family and friends to receive the Eucharist. That is an inhospitable way, in my opinion, to welcome other people at a celebration in which we are trying to emphasize God's call to lifelong union between this particular man and this particular woman. Since we need to be true to the teaching of the Church with regard to sharing the Eucharist (and all other things too!), I strongly urge couples to focus on what they share which is the gift of love given by God in the context of a Solemn Celebration of Marriage.

Many blessings,
Father Phillip