Topic:  When did Joseph marry Mary?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: December 26, 2003

Moderator who originally posted this source: Fr. John

Question:  Can you please tell me when Joseph married Mary? Was it before or after Jesus was born? Thanks for your help, Shannon

Answer: 

Before. The problem here is the terminology of “betrothed” and “marriage” and how we now define those terms in contrast to how First Century Jewish believers defined them.

Just sticking with the Matthew Infancy Narrative (Mt 1:18-25) it tells us that “Mary was betrothed to Joseph”. In this culture and time period “betrothed” means that they have already exchanged consent, have agreed to “marry” each other. “Betrothal” here is more like our modern day “marriage”: the man and woman betrothed to each other have conjugal rights but have not yet necessarily started living together under the same roof. She could still be with mom and dad (and other assorted relatives) and he could be still in his boyhood home as well.

The second phase of this “marriage” agreement in 1st Century Palestine is the woman moving into the husband’s house. Matthew 1:24 tells us that “Joseph took his wife home”, and Mt 1:25 “before she gave birth to a son”.

So, Shannon, from both our modern day definition of “marriage” and the ancient traditions of Jesus’ day, Joseph “married” Mary before Jesus was actually born.

Merry Christmas!

Father John