Topic: Can a Catholic wedding have non-Catholic aspects?

Source of this posting: Moderator response to emailed question

Date originally posted: November 30, 2002

Moderator who originally posted this source: P. Leach

Question:  Fr. Leach:

I am recently engaged and are planning to be married next fall.  We would like to have a wedding that is recognized by the Catholic Church.  My fiance is not Catholic, but is in agreement with the Catholic wedding and marriage preparation.  However, we do have questions....

We have selected a reception site approximately 20-30 minutes drive to the closest Catholic Church.  Can we have the ceremony at the reception site? What are the rules about this?

Can a Methodist (his faith) minister be present/officiate the ceremony and it still be recognized by the Catholic Church?

Can we have the ceremony at a Church closer to the reception site, even if it is not Catholic?

Can we have a ceremony without communion, since the majority of the attendants are not Catholic?

Thanks for your help!
Rachel

Answer:

Dear Rachel,

Thanks very much for your questions about marriage.  Let me do some general explanation and then try to answer your specific questions.  OK?

While what I am about to say isn’t completely, totally, exhaustively accurate, these comments try to get at the “heart” of some things that will, perhaps, help you understand the Catholic Church’s position(s) on marriage.

Our Holy Father, the Pope, more or less sets the broadest outlines for what Catholic Christian marriage must be. 

(If you’re interested in seeing these in concise form, look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Part Two; Section Two; Chapter Three; Article 7, “The Sacrament of Matrimony.”  Try this link to an on-line version of this portion of the Catechism, http://www.christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/matri.html.)

One aspect of what the Pope allows is that local diocesan Bishops can set further requirements, especially to govern the preparation of Catholics (and their potential spouses) for entering into the Sacrament of Matrimony.  On the basis of this ‘freedom’ for local Bishops to set additional requirements for marriage prep, we shouldn’t be surprised to find that the rules regulating marriage and the celebration of wedding ceremonies will vary from diocese to diocese.  Since a local Bishop understands the particular needs of the people in the particular diocese which he serves, that local Bishop will help couples in that local diocesan Church prepare for and celebrate the Sacrament of Matrimony in the best possible way for them in that place and time.

And then an additional component of what most local diocesan Bishops allow is that Pastors of local parishes can add other requirements for marriage preparation and the celebration of the wedding ceremony which take into account the special circumstance of the parish Church building, the parish community, the expression of the local culture, etc.  A local Pastor is going to know better about what the most specific needs of a community will be, so most Bishops wisely allow local Pastors to regulate marriage in the parish in specific ways – as long as that local Pastor respects, of course, the diocesan guidelines of the Bishop and the teaching of the Holy Father for the universal Church. 

Again, then, nobody should be shocked to find that what is required for marriage preparation in one parish might very well be different from what is required in a neighboring parish.  This ‘variance’ actually supports the marvelous diversity within the Catholic Church while simultaneously upholding the ‘catholicity’ or universality of the Church’s teaching.

That was a long-winded way of saying that since I don’t know the particulars of YOUR situation, I can’t really give you answers that will apply in every detail to you and the parish in which you live and worship.

However, I will try to answer your questions as if you were a member of the parish in which I have the privilege to serve as Pastor and Campus Minister.   I would URGE you, though, to make sure that you talk to your own Campus Minister and/or Pastor to get the information that applies to YOUR specific situation.

“We have selected a reception site approximately 20-30 minutes drive to the closest Catholic Church.  Can we have the ceremony at the reception site? What are the rules about this?” 

Our own very wonderful, wise and holy Bishop – for whom I have the deepest respect and affection – does not allow us to have wedding ceremonies in places other than Churches in the vast majority of cases.  He, correctly, I think, says that holy things, such as a marriage ceremony, should take occur in places specifically set aside for holy things.

And frankly, I would say that the choice of a venue for a wedding reception, while important to the overall festivities, is not nearly as important as the sacred space in which the exchange of vows should take place.  The Church ought to come first.

“Can a Methodist (his faith) minister be present/officiate the ceremony and it still be recognized by the Catholic Church?”

The Catholic Church would encourage you to seek out a Minister of the Methodist Church and go through whatever marriage preparation is suggested by that Minister.  And if your fiancé has a relationship to a particular Methodist Minister and/or if having a Methodist Minister participate in the wedding ceremony would accommodate your fiancé’s own sense of the sacred Presence in your wedding ceremony or that of his family and friends, the Catholic Church would welcome the participation of that Minister. 

If you and your fiancé decide, for appropriate reasons, that the wedding ceremony should take place in a Methodist Church, then the Methodist Minister would officiate.  You would have to discuss with your own Catholic Campus Minister/Priest-Pastor what you would need to do in your own diocese to receive the proper dispensations and permissions from your own Bishop for this to happen.  Generally, though, the Catholic Church would not have any problem granting those permissions to a Catholic who has gone through marriage preparation and followed the direction of the Catholic Campus Minister/Priest. 

If you were to decide to be married in a Methodist Church, and if you do go through all that the Catholic Church requires for marriage preparation and proper dispensation(s), the Catholic Church would “recognize” your marriage whether a Catholic priest was present in the Methodist Church at the time of your wedding ceremony or not.  That is to say, if you have the permission of your Catholic Bishop, a Catholic Priest does NOT have to be present for the marriage to be recognized by the Catholic Church.

If, however, you decide to marry in a Catholic Church, the Catholic Priest or Deacon (or Bishop) would be present.  The Catholic Priest or Deacon can invite your fiancé’s Methodist Minister to participate in a way that conforms to the general rules of the universal Church, the diocese, and the local parish.  The etiquette is that the inviting minister – in this case, the Catholic Priest/Deacon – contacts the visiting minister – in this case the Methodist Minister – and they work out who will do what.  If the Methodist Minister participates in the Catholic Church, the Methodist Minister is not allowed to “receive” the vows in the name of the Church, but other than that restriction, I think it’s pretty much open to the discretion of the Catholic Priest-Deacon and the Methodist Minister.

“Can we have the ceremony at a Church closer to the reception site, even if it is not Catholic?”

About this question I would refer you to what I said above in response to your first question. 

If you are a Catholic and if your Catholic faith means a lot to you, why would you want to get married in a non-Catholic Church building?  Just for the sake of convenience?  After all, your guests love you and your fiancé, so why would they mind driving an extra 25 minutes for the reception? 

Now, if the Church that was closer was your fiancé’s own Methodist Church, or if your fiancé is an architect and he designed a “closer” Church and considered it the apogee of his professional output, or if the “closer” Church was the Chapel at the University where the two of your met and fell in love – then, maybe, a case could be made for having the marriage ceremony there. 

But as a rule, I don’t see any reason to make the distance from Church to reception building the deciding factor in selecting a Church building for your wedding ceremony.

“Can we have a ceremony without communion, since the majority of the attendants are not Catholic?”

Actually, the Catholic Church would strongly urge you to do precisely what you’re proposing.  A wedding ceremony is ‘about’ the love that God has given to you and your fiancé, and that gift of divine love joins you together.

In a worship situation in which some of the participants are Catholic and others are not, we cannot invite the non-Catholics, as a rule, to join in receiving the Holy Eucharist. 

So, in a wedding ceremony which focuses on the unifying power of God’s love, as that divine love is expressed in the life of you and your fiancé, why would we have the Eucharist in which only some of the worshippers could receive? 

Your wedding ceremony should revel in all that we as Christians share: the proclamation of the Scripture, singing praises to our God, praying in supplication for peace and justice in the world, invoking the blessing of God on the love which you and your fiancé share.  There are plenty of wonderful things that bind a Methodist and a Catholic who have been called together by God into holy matrimony.  Celebrate those things. 

May God bless you as you prepare for the Sacrament!

Father Phillip