Topic:  Is it wrong to go to a different denomination's Church?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: November 19, 2003

Moderator who originally posted this source: Father Phillip

Question:   I'm Roman Catholic and I go to school at UNC-Pembroke and there are not many Catholic churches at all around here. There are only 2 and neither one of them have really sparked any interest of mine. Some friends of mine invited me to do this 40 days Purpose Driven Life bible study and during the whole 40 days now i have been attending a Baptist Church. The only thing is while i have been attending I have really enjoyed it and feel like i have been getting a lot of hearing God's word more than i have since i have been here at school. I live in Raleigh and go to St. Raphael's but since school is 2 hours away I don't really get home as often i wish so i could go to church. So here's my question i feel like i am doing something morally wrong here cuase i am enjoying it soo much at this Baptist Church and I don't want to convert or anything but want to continue going there. Like while i am at school go to the Baptish church and while i am at home a Catholic church just cause i understand God's word through both this preacher and my priests at home. Am i doing something morally wrong here going to 2 churches that believe two totally different things since i am Roman Catholic? I feel like I am be looked down upon my the Catholic Faith because of what i am doing? Am I? I don't know what to do anymore. I am soo confused and don't know what I am feeling is allowed or not? Are you allowed to have 2 different home churches that are of different denominations? I didn't think you were and lately the past few times all I have done is cried cause i don't know if what i am feeling and all this confusion is ok or not. I feel like even though people accept me for who i am i still feel like a visitor cause i dont know what i am supposed to be doing or where God is guiding me right now and why i am being tugged in soo many different positions. It was like before i came to school i was completely 100% about my faith and going to church at home and now that i came to school where there is not really a church that interests me as much i have come to realize i don't know what to do and instead found myself going to a baptist church. What should I do? Please help me!

Answer: 

You sound like such a GREAT PERSON!!! You are searching to find the best way to be nurtured in a community of Christians, and that is clear evidence of your faithfulness and of God’s being alive and at work in your life! And that’s what we all want for you!

No, you’re not doing anything morally wrong. Shame on us for not providing a Newman Center or a Catholic Church on your campus. It’s not like you’re out selling drugs or anything instead of going to Mass; you are with other Christians who, admittedly, are rather different in the way they live out their faith, but they are people working to follow the Lord. Surely, that can’t be morally wrong – especially in light of the fact that there is no Catholic fellowship at your university!

One thing I would say about attending the Sacred Liturgy: We receive so many other tremendous gifts from being part of the Eucharistic celebration that we really do ourselves a disservice by not attending.

The most important thing about being at Mass is that we have the opportunity to receive the REAL PRESENCE of Christ when we worship in a Catholic Church. The grace and goodness and life that come from Him is ours just by our being present at the Liturgy. So even if the Mass doesn’t spark your interest, you’re kind of ‘cheating’ yourself from such a tremendous gift by not going regularly to a nearby Catholic Church.

Moreover, we are strengthened simply by hearing the Word of the Lord proclaimed in a liturgical setting. And just being with other people who are Catholic is a great blessing – even if we don’t know their names – because it helps us to remember that we are not alone in our faith.

Ideally, of course, the Catholic Church we go to has all of those things AND a vibrant community life, wonderful preaching, and inspiring music ministry. But alas! We don’t always get everything we’d like – even in our Church!

I think of it, sometimes, in this way. I loved my grandmaw more than just about anything. When I was a child, she was the most fun person in the whole world to be with, and she always loved me and accepted me for exactly who I was. As she got older and her body sort of “gave out,” she wasn’t nearly as much fun as she had been. But I still loved her, and even though I didn’t always enjoy it a whole lot, I would go see her every time I went home to Texas; we would just sit together, usually watching tv. While it wasn’t as much fun as it had been when she was younger and better able to do stuff with me, I always came away – a little bored – but knowing, somehow, that I was a better person for having spent time with my dear, sweet grandmaw!

So, even if Mass isn’t quite as much fun as you’d like it to be at the parishes near your school, I think that being there is good for you…and it’s probably good for “them” as well. Seeing that a young woman in college is willing to make the effort to get to Mass – even if the Liturgy is kind of ‘dull’ – might inspire that community over time to make their parish more welcoming and upbeat. So you’d be doing them a favor as well as receiving a blessing yourself!

As long as you continue to find nurture and support in the Campus Fellowship, you ought to feel free to follow the Lord there. I would never recommend to anybody to give up their Catholic faith (and I know that’s NOT what you are saying) because our Church – while not perfect – has the gift of the Eucharist and the other sacraments as well as our marvelous teaching on justice and peace in addition to lots and lots of other things that make it wonderful. But if you are having your needs for a spiritual community met in a community sponsored by the Baptist Church for a while, then, don’t feel guilty.

My best advice would be something like this: Go each weekend to your old but precious grandmaw, the Catholic Church, maybe on Saturday evening so that you can spend some time with her, and then do what you need to on Sunday or whenever to find community and enrichment with other college students at the Campus Fellowship.

And as kind of a “PS” – if the crying and confusion persist, I would encourage you to think seriously about talking to somebody in the campus counseling service office. They can be really helpful – and have been in my life!

Believe in yourself; you’re a really good person!

God bless,
Father Phillip