Topic: What are some ways I can learn to forgive?

Source of this posting: Moderator response

Date originally posted: March 11, 2002

Moderator who originally posted this source: J. Ruffo

Question:  To forget is easy.  My problem is to forgive. My memory is very strong for everything. I love history and as a result my memory has expanded too much. My habit of reading and studying does not help me also to forgive. I am always thinking about past events. I pray for having the grace of learning how to forgive but I fall  very easy into the temptation of not practicing it.

Answer:

Dear F.J., 

Some folks have trouble forgiving; some folks have trouble forgetting.  I guess it depends on the issue or degree of hurt perceived.

 If we are Christian, we must strive to forgive another who somehow offends us, even though we may never forget what they have said or done.  As Jesus said: “The amount we measure out to others is the amount we ourselves are going to receive.” (Mt. 7:2) 

Forgiving another means that we treat them from a position of reconciliation, a new beginning.  We forgive another, not necessarily because this other person deserves it, but as an expression of our faith: because we want God to be understanding, compassionate, and forgiving to us who may sin in a different way than the one who sinned against us. 

 I echo your wish: we all need to continue to pray for the grace to learn how to forgive. 

Father John