Topic: Rights of Death for a person married outside the Catholic Church

Source of this posting: Moderator response to emailed question

Date originally posted: March 24, 2002

Moderator who originally posted this source: P. Leach

Question: I was raised a catholic in that I was baptized, received holy communion and was confirmed. I married a non-catholic in the base chapel by a priest in the early 1960's. About two years she filed for divorce and I did not contest the divorce as i wanted a divorce as much as she did. I remarried a non-catholic in a civil action in 1965. I started going to mass about 12 years ago and attend mass every Sunday but do not receive the sacraments. I discussed this with a priest about a year ago and he suggested I start the annulment procedure. I have not and would like your response to the following question: If things remain as they are what right(s) do I have from the catholic church at the time of my death? thank you

Answer: 

Dear Mike, 

Thank you for your question.  First, I want to endorse what the priest with whom you spoke "about a year ago" said; he's right on the money:  I, too, would encourage you to begin the process of applying for a decree of nullity.  The Church uses this process as a way of bringing growth, wholeness, and a certain sense of resolution in one aspect of a person's life, i.e. the first (in your case) marriage.  At least in our diocese, the Tribunal is filled with learned, capable, and compassionate people who see what they do as ministry, and I'm sure that is true in most dioceses.  So, I hope you'll pray seriously about taking that priest's good advice. 

My own experience is that many people don't want to start the process of seeking a decree of nullity because they are not really certain about what that decree means.  So, again, I would encourage you to learn about the meaning of such a decree as well as the process involved in your particular diocese. 

Now to your question about a person who dies but whose marriage at the time of death is not  recognized as sacramental by the Catholic Church...I am fairly certain that we would not generally talk about it in terms of "rights."  Rather, most pastors whom I know would tend to look at the situation in terms of the obligation we have has Catholic Christians to bury the dead -- one of the corporal works of mercy. 

My own practice as a pastor and that of virtually every Catholic pastor whom I know is to bring consolation and presence to the family of the deceased, to work with the family to see to it that the wishes of the deceased are respected (as long, of course, as those wishes conform to the norms of the Church insofar as music and readings etc. are concerned), and to offer a fitting Mass of Christian Burial on behalf of the deceased person. 

Sometimes, this question is phrased in terms of "can I be buried in consecrated ground"?  In our diocese, where there are only three or four Catholic cemeteries within the confines of the 54 counties that make-up, geographically speaking, our diocese, our normative practice is to consecrate, at the time of a person's burial, the specific plot of ground in which she/he is to be buried. 

 Again, my pastoral experience is that all the pastors whom I know seem to have no problem  consecrating the burial plot of a person who was Baptized in our Church and who understood him/her-self to be Catholic.

 The one caveat that I would add at this point runs something like this:  If a person were well-known to be a notorious and scandalous "rejector" of the Christian faith, the way a pastor might work to fulfill the injunction to bury the dead would probably be very limited.  That is to say, in such a rare case, I suspect that a Catholic priest might have a very simple and private Liturgy of the Word with interment following immediately and without fanfare.  I hasten to add that I have never in 17 years of ministry been confronted with such a situation.  But such judgment calls are within the legitimate purview of a pastor who often has to make decisions in difficult situations.

 In your case, however, Mike, you have worked -- from everything I can glean from your posted question -- to live a faithful life, especially in the last 12 years during which you have attended Mass weekly.  Clearly, your faith and your relationship to the Catholic Church are important to you.  And I would guess that your pastor knows that you are a man of faith.  So, I would guess that your pastor would be honored to celebrate the Mass of Christian Burial for you when the time comes -- as it does to us ALL -- that the Lord invites you to the eternal and true Jerusalem. 

 If you haven't spent some time with your own pastor, explaining your situation, I would urge you to do so.  Call, make an appointment -- don't just drop in -- sit down with your pastor and tell him your story.  You deserve the priest's full attention -- you and your life are important.   

The busy-ness of our lives makes a "drop by" visit, or a quick chat after Mass, a very difficult time for a priest to focus on you and on what you are saying to him.  And in fairness, the priest needs not to have to worry about the parking lot and the Sacred Vessels and the million other things that are usually going on after Liturgy while simultaneously trying to give you the attention you deserve.   

So, make a specific time for you and the priest to be together to talk through what's going on in your life; that way, when the time comes, the priest will have the benefit of knowing you and knowing how God has been working in your life.  In that way, the priest can make a good decision about how best to assist you with the prayers of the Church and to assist your family with consolation and grace.

You're obviously a good man who is trying to live within the context of your faith.  That is certainly something to celebrate!

Blessings,

Father Phillip